Delilah slept soundly through to the late morning and woke in a warm, blissful daze. Her limbs felt heavy and weighted, in a way that reminded her of sunbathing by the Pont du Gard when it was so blazingly hot that every muscle in her body spread itself out flat, and even reaching for a bottle of lemonade was a chore. She moved her legs back and forth, enjoying the feeling of the sheets against her skin, and her foot dislodged a light obstacle, which gave a huffy little hoot as it resettled itself.
She sat up stiffly.
‘I’m trying to remember the last time I looked up and there wasn’t a fucking owl watching me,’ she said grumpily to the owl, untying a letter from its leg.
Dear Delilah,
I have an appointment with the headmaster this morning at Hogwarts, and wondered whether you could spare an hour for that festive drink we talked about. I’ll be finished by 12:30 or so, and thought I could take you to lunch in Hogsmeade, if you’re not too busy. I’d love to see you and hear how you’re getting on, but will entirely understand if it’s too short notice.
Yours,
Remus
Delilah smiled and scribbled an affirmative on the back of the parchment, then sprang out of bed as the owl vanished into the rafters with it. She hopped around on the freezing flagstones, pulling on her jeans and her thickest socks, wishing the dormitory fire were lit around the clock, and not just in the evenings. She was far too late for breakfast, but too early for Remus, so she went into the common room which was much warmer, and curled up on an armchair in front of the fire.
Lilith lay alone on her lilac silk sheets, tossing restlessly at the memory of Leander’s hands upon her, the way he’d breathed hard in her ear as he slammed into her, and she pushed her hand between her thighs in frustration, curling her fingers in pleasure and gyrating against her own palm, stroking herself with her fingertips and then slipping them inside…
What was going on with Snape?
Was she imagining it?
Did she want it to be real?
Why did she always seem to end up asking herself if she was imagining people’s affections for her?
She felt a stab of keen nostalgia for Terry, and for that brief, golden period in her life when it had all been so straightforward.
Terry.
If he really loves you, he will fall as readily for Delilah du Lac as he did for Delilah Blackthorn…
She gazed blankly out of the window until the carriage clock on the mantelpiece broke her reverie by stiking a half hour, when she jumped, shoved her book into her bag and left the common room, trying to shake off a cloud of depression that had descended on her.
She waited fifteen minutes for Remus in the Entrance Hall before he hurried down the steps, looking slightly harassed. A frown of deep thought cleared up when he spotted her, skulking beside a suit of armour by the door.
‘Delilah!’ he said warmly. ‘I hope you haven’t been waiting long?’
‘No, it’s fine. I was a little late getting down here myself.’
‘Well then, shall we?’ he said, gesturing courteously for her to lead the way. ‘I am famished, haven’t eaten since last night, and I’m drooling at the thought of Rosmerta’s shortcrust.’
It was a beautifully bright, cold day, and the snow had all but melted from the grass, although it still clung to the bare branches of the trees in the shade of the Forbidden Forest, and the lake was still covered in a murky frozen husk. Remus waved cheerily to Professor Hagrid as he loomed into view from around his cabin, surrounded by a pack of puppies who bounded delightedly around his enormous boots, yapping and squealing, tumbling on their oversized paws.
‘Remus!’ Hagrid exclaimed. ‘Didn’t know you were comin’!’
‘Delilah and I are off to the Three Broomsticks for lunch. You’d be most welcome to join us.’
‘Love to, but I’m takin’ the crups into the Forest fer a runaround – they’re driving Fang mad,’ Hagrid said, jerking his thumb back at his vegetable patch, where a disgruntled-looking Bloodhound was sitting amid the broad bean runners.
‘Ah well, next time,’ Remus said.
‘Delilah is it?’ Hagrid said, smiling down at her. She nodded and extended her hand, which he squeezed gently in his enormous one. ‘I saw you at Christmas Lunch yesterday. Nice t’meet yer properly. Might run into yer later if you’re still in the Brooms.’
Remus and Delilah continued out of the grounds as Hagrid and the puppies vanished into the twinkling Forest.
‘I’ve been meaning to confess something,’ Delilah said as they wandered along the road to Hogsmeade. ‘That lovely letter you sent me about Connie a few weeks ago, after the Witch Weekly thing… Well, I was looking at it in a Defence Against the Dark Arts class, and Snape sort of snatched it off me and read it.’
‘Did he now?’ Remus chuckled. ‘I did wonder why he was so cross with me. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything to me about it; he’s just been snapping and glaring at me ever since.’
‘Doesn’t he do that to you anyway? He does to me.’
‘Good point: it wasn’t much of a departure from the norm. Anyway, don’t worry – the fault lies with him for being such a sourpuss in the first place. What did he say when he read the letter?’
‘Nothing, but he turned a Choking Curse on me.’
Remus looked aghast.
‘He did what?’
‘Yep. We were learning about them, to be fair, and he said since I wasn’t paying attention, I must be an expert, so he pulled me up in front of the class and cursed me.’
‘Were you hurt?’
‘No, actually. I managed to whack up a pretty good Shield Charm, and then I almost disarmed him, so I had a chance to hide behind a desk.’
‘Good gracious!’ Remus said admiringly. ‘That’s an incredible feat! There are very few students indeed who could defeat Severus Snape in a duel.’
‘I didn’t really defeat him. I knew the spell was coming, he gave me notice, and I only hid behind a desk, so if he had been really trying to attack me he probably would have had me for breakfast.’
‘You’d be surprised how many duels are decided by who manages to hide first. Brilliant wizards like Dumbledore can duel on pure magical skill, and those are the duels that make history, but the rest of us mere mortals just run for our lives.’
‘It won’t help against Voldemort though, will it,’ Delilah said despondently.
Remus turned to her with a look of surprised concern.
‘What makes you say that? I know you and your family are in hiding, but it’s very much a precaution. The Death Eaters took Ormond for what he knew; you can’t possibly think you’re in the same danger?’
Delilah stopped dead.
‘For what he knew?’ she repeated.
Remus stared at her.
‘What did he know?’ she demanded.
‘I’m just repeating what Dumbledore told me,’ he said levelly. ‘Isn’t this what he told you?’
‘When did he say that?’
‘He told the Order of the Phoenix at the first meeting we had after the attack on The Briar House.’
‘But he didn’t say what Dad knew?’
‘He said he didn’t know himself. Just that he’d learned that Ormond had been taken for his knowledge of something. I presumed Ormond had intelligence, either old or new, that Voldemort didn’t want getting out – it wouldn’t be unusual, given his line of work in journalism.’
Delilah still didn’t move, her brain churning through this revelation. Was it a revelation?
‘I thought you’d already been told all this,’ Remus said sorrowfully. ‘I would never have mentioned it otherwise.’
‘That’s OK,’ Delilah said, resuming her stride. Remus fell into step beside her. ‘It’s just… anything to do with Dad. It gets me going. Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. I’m sorry for bringing it up. Of course it’s upsetting to you.’
She began to feel calmer. Dumbledore had already told her that he had hidden the truth about the Blackthorn family from the Order; that was what he’d meant about Ormond knowing something.
…Wasn’t it?
They arrived at the pub and Remus held the door open for her, so she walked in first and chose a cosy table beside the Christmas tree, warmed by the fire which crackled in the grate, whilst Remus went to the bar.
‘How are your lessons going?’ he asked when he came back with a pint of beer and a glass of white wine.
‘They’re OK,’ Delilah said. ‘It’ll be easier next term, since I’m allowed to drop History of Magic because Snape agreed that I was doing OK in Defence.’
‘More than OK by the sounds of it. And how about everything else? Friends, boys?’
‘Boys?’ Delilah repeated, blushing.
‘Or girls. Anybody taken your fancy?’
‘Well…’ Delilah took a sip of wine, stalling. She was longing for somebody to chew it over with… but Remus?
‘You don’t have to tell me,’ he said hastily, seeing her hesitation.
‘I know,’ she smiled. ‘There is somebody, but I’m… I’m not sure how he feels.’
‘Because?’
‘Because the things he says are at odds with the things he does.’
‘Which way round?’
Delilah cocked her head enquiringly, not understanding the question.
‘Is he saying he likes you but treating you badly?’ Remus elucidated, ‘or acting as though he likes you but not saying so?’
‘Oh, the latter.’
‘Good.’
‘Why is that good?’
‘Well, good for him because I’d have had to hex the bastard out of town if he were messing you around like that; but also good for you, because I can say with absolute confidence that he definitely does like you.’
‘What? How can you be so sure?’
Remus sipped from his tankard, and for a moment Delilah thought he looked slightly bleak.
‘Because people might find all sorts of reasons – often stupid ones – not to act on their feelings for somebody,’ he said, ‘but with all the will in the world, those feelings are impossible to entirely hide.’
Delilah nodded thoughtfully. She remembered Terry’s admission in the Mugwump’s Hump: I just didn’t really want to get into anything, so I sort of just … Why hadn’t she pressed him on that? ‘Didn’t want to get into anything’; what did that even mean?
Delilah’s train of thought was cut off by the arrival of two exquisitely fragrant steak and stilton pies, and they passed an enjoyable afternoon, chatting and sinking deeper into their armchairs as they grew heavy with wine, food and the heat of the fire, until Remus finally glanced at his wristwatch.
‘Much as I hate to bring an end to this lovely afternoon, I really should get you back to school,’ he said.
‘I feel so warm and sleepy though,’ Delilah groaned.
‘I daresay the walk back will wake you up,’ Remus said, peering out of the window. ‘It’s snowing again.’
They staggered out into the icy street, gasping at the shock of invigoratingly cold air after the glow of the pub, and stamped together along the road back to Hogwarts. The bright afternoon had given way to a purplish twilight, against which the castle’s lighted turrets looked even more than usually dramatic.
‘You will let me know what happens with this knave of yours, won’t you?’ Remus said. ‘My offer to hex his backside off is still good if it comes to it.’
Delilah laughed out loud at the idea of crying to Remus to avenge her honour with Snape.
‘Thank you,’ she said, huddling further into her scarf. ‘I’m sure it won’t come to that.’
‘In any case, my advice would be…’
Whatever Remus’ advice was, Delilah never heard it, as he trailed off and stopped walking, staring up at a huge red and gold bird descending on them.
‘Fawkes,’ he muttered.
‘Fawkes?’ Delilah repeated, mystified, as the bird landed on Remus’ forearm, which he had held out stiffly like a falconer.
‘The note, read the note,’ Remus said urgently, and Delilah took the note from the magnificent bird’s beak, ripped off her glove with her teeth and fumbled with the parchment.
Remus and Delilah,
Come at once.
URGENT.
The bird took off and Remus and Delilah stared at each other for a second before turning and sprinting towards the school, kicking up clouds of snow as they went.
‘What’s going on?’ Delilah panted as they ran through the Entrance Hall, her back sticky with sweat, her nose and cheeks burning with the contrast in temperature.
‘I don’t know,’ Remus said curtly, taking the stairs two at a time so that Delilah had to scramble to keep up with him.
‘Do you think it’s to do with Connie and Matilda?’ she managed through laboured breaths, skittering to a halt beside him as they reached the office.
‘It might very well be,’ Remus said. ‘I can’t immediately think what else would require your urgent return. Jelly Slugs.’
The gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore’s office leapt aside and Delilah and Remus stepped onto the moving staircase leading up to it.
Dumbledore was already opening the office door as they approached it.
‘Come in,’ he said hurriedly. ‘Sit down. Thank you for coming so quickly.’
‘What’s going on?’ Delilah demanded in a rush, unwinding her scarf and fumbling with the buttons of her coat.
‘Constance has been seen.’
Delilah froze with her coat half-off her shoulders. Remus solicitously slipped it off her and hung it on the back of a chair.
‘Where?’ he asked Dumbledore. ‘When? What do we know?’
‘Next to nothing for now,’ Dumbledore said, speaking over his shoulder from one of the tables full of silver instruments that lined his office. ‘The Death Eater Avery somehow located Constance and attempted to seize her and Matilda. He called for help and Severus has followed the summons.’
‘So Snape will save her?’ Delilah said desperately. ‘He’ll make sure nothing happens to her? Like he did for me? Won’t he?’
‘He will do everything he can,’ Dumbledore said.
‘But he has to save her!’ Delilah said, her voice rising with urgency. ‘He has to find a way, he should take them to Grimmauld Place, or bring them here, he has to make sure they’re OK!’
Dumbledore gently lifted from the table something that looked like an armillary sundial, its many curved silver tusks trembling in a phantom breeze.
‘We have had this conversation, Delilah,’ he said firmly, and walked over to his desk, placing the instrument down and crouching over it. Several moments elapsed as he peered with intense concentration at the minute movements of the silver rings, suspending the tip of his index finger beside each of them in turn and muttering an indecipherable word or two.
The instrument gave a loud hum and one of the rings began to spin very quickly. Finally it emitted a puff of magenta smoke.
‘And Severus?’ Dumbledore said, in a tone that Delilah thought sounded faintly panicked. A cold feeling rushed through her insides.
A different ring whirred softly and a swirl of dark grey smoke slithered from the instrument’s pointed tip, undulating like a cobra.
Dumbledore nodded, then stood and turned to face the fireplace. Remus and Delilah turned expectantly too, but nothing happened.
‘Albus?’ Remus said enquiringly.
‘Constance is alive,’ Dumbledore said. ‘Severus is coming.’
‘Is he bringing Connie?’ Delilah asked frantically, light-headed with relief.
‘That I do not know.’
They stood for a few more minutes, staring into the fire, and at last the flames turned emerald green and a huge shape spun into sight. At first Delilah thought it was a person of enormous and bizarre proportions, but as it slowed down, she saw that an unfamiliar man with thinning chestnut hair was being restrained by Professor Snape, who pushed him out of the grate so violently that he staggered on the flagstones.
‘Wh… where am I?’ the man stammered, looking around with darting eyes. His face was so pale it was almost grey. ‘I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, I’ll cooperate this time,’ he gabbled, ‘just don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me…’
‘Julius,’ Dumbledore cut in sharply. ‘You know who I am.’
The man focused his eyes for the first time on Dumbledore, and sagged with tangible relief.
‘Dumbledore,’ he said, ‘oh thank you, thank goodness, I’m safe…’
‘For now,’ Snape said, pushing the man to his knees and pointing his wand at him. Delilah noticed a second wand poking out of the pocket of Snape’s robes.
The man raised his hands in a pathetic gesture of surrender.
‘What have I done?’ he whimpered. ‘I kept them safe as best I could, I don’t know how…’
‘Constance is a brilliant witch, Julius,’ Dumbledore said harshly. ‘I highly doubt it has been you keeping her safe. You went into hiding weeks ago, even before she did – did you think we didn’t know? Would you care to tell us how you came to be found together?’
‘It was Connie, she found me, she wanted to know what I’d told them about Ormond, about-’
‘And what did you tell them?’
‘Nothing, I swear, nothing! I kept them safe, we hid together, we protected each other, and the child, I would never, I would never…’
Dumbledore regarded at the cringing man on the floor, and the man stared back with pleading candour.
‘Could somebody fill me in on what is happening?’ Remus said testily.
‘Quite right, Remus,’ Dumbledore said. ‘Let’s sit down: I believe we are all friends here.’
The man clambered hesitantly to his feet and Severus pushed him into an armchair, standing beside him and keeping his wand pointed at the side of his head, clearly less convinced than Dumbledore was of his innocence.
Remus and Dumbledore also sat but Delilah remained on her feet as well, moving to stand behind Remus’ chair.
‘This is Julius-’ Dumbledore began.
‘I know who he is,’ Remus said impatiently.
‘Of course you do. Well, today Julius’ hiding place was discovered, where Constance and Matilda Blackthorn were evidently also in attendance.’
‘How did they find you?’ Remus demanded of Julius.
‘Connie came to me,’ the man said desperately. ‘She knew I knew about Ormond’s-’
‘The Death Eaters you idiot, not the Blackthorns,’ Remus snarled. Delilah started at the departure from the avuncular tones she was used to hearing from him.
‘I don’t know, I don’t know…’
‘How long have you been hiding the Blackthorns?’
‘Since right after the party, right after I had the Death Eaters at my desk, asking me for my help with that horrible thing, that girl-’
‘How did Constance find you?’ Dumbledore cut in.
‘She can find anything, that woman, she’s brilliant. Best investigative journalist I ever knew.’
‘And what is your explanation for this afternoon’s events?’
The man shrugged hopelessly, with obvious confusion and despair.
‘Severus?’ Dumbledore said, turning to face him.
‘An owl, as far as I can gather,’ Snape said. ‘That was the message, but Avery was unconscious by the time I arrived, and I haven’t had an update.’
‘An owl?’
‘Apparently.’
Delilah’s head was hammering in the attempt to keep up with all these half-finished sentences, half-revealed facts, half-understood revelations, and her temper flared.
‘WHAT IS GOING ON?’ she thundered.
All four men turned to stare at her.
‘Where are Connie and Matilda? Who is Avery? What has an owl got to do with it? Who is this?’ she bellowed, flinging her arm in Julius’ direction.
‘We have been very rude,’ Dumbledore said penitently. ‘Sit down, Delilah, and we will explain properly.’
Delilah was clenched all over, but she sat as calmly as she could on the edge of an armchair.
‘This is Julius Prenderghast,’ Dumbledore said again, indicating the man with chestnut hair. ‘Julius, this is Delilah, Ormond’s daughter.’
‘Of course,’ the man said softly. ‘I met you when you were a baby.’
‘I know your face,’ Delilah said with a frown, ‘I mean, I recognise you, I just can’t think… but who are you?’
‘Julius and Ormond were colleagues at The Daily Prophet,’ Dumbledore explained. ‘Like many journalists, Julius has recently been driven into hiding.’
‘Those Death Eaters, they came for me, asking questions,’ Julius gabbled, ‘questions about-’
‘But where are Connie and Matilda?’ Delilah interrupted urgently.
‘Gone,’ Snape answered. ‘No sign of them by the time I got there. I gather Constance attacked Avery and vanished with the child.’
‘But why were they there with him?’
‘She came to me Delilah, I promise, she wanted to know-’
‘It seems that Constance tracked Julius down in order to reinforce her hiding place and the safety of Matilda,’ Dumbledore cut in again. Delilah found herself wondering whether he was trying to keep Julius’ garbled narrative on track, or trying to censor it. ‘That’s where she’s been since the attack on The Briar House, and this afternoon Avery somehow managed to locate them.’
‘And I really can’t understand how,’ Julius said fervently. ‘Severus said it was something to do with an owl, but neither of us have had contact with the outside world in weeks, since Connie sent that message to the paper, we’re hiding in plain sight in Falmouth, far too risky…’
‘If there was an owl, you must have been communicating with somebody, Julius,’ Remus said brusquely. ‘Perhaps the burden of hiding a wanted woman and a restless infant became too much? Perhaps the threats from the Death Eaters got to you after all?’
‘I did nothing! Nothing!’ Julius insisted earnestly, eyes bulging. ‘I have communicated with nobody!’
‘So you expect us to believe an owl just happened to descend upon your safe house, presumably furnished with all manner of protective enchantments, and a Death Eater just happened to see it?’
‘I don’t know, Remus!’ Julius whined.
‘Well then, what? Constance was communicating with somebody behind your back, risking her own life and that of her child?’
‘She wasn’t, she wouldn’t, she was so strict with me about that…’
Delilah’s heart stilled.
‘I sent her an owl,’ she said.
Once again, all four men turned to her. She clutched at the arms of her chair.
‘Delilah?’ Dumbledore prompted.
‘I sent her and Matilda Christmas presents. I didn’t really think they’d get them, it was stupid.’
‘You,’ Julius said with a hint of triumph. ‘See Dumbledore, I told you it wasn’t me, it was her, she was the one…’
‘Tell us everything, Delilah,’ Remus said tersely.
‘I just, I bought them Christmas presents and tied them to an owl, I didn’t include a note or write their names or anything, I just thought…’ She looked hopelessly from one to the next. ‘I don’t know what I thought.’
‘Whose owl did you use?’
‘I just went to the Owlery and used one of the owls in there.’
‘But which owl?’ Dumbledore pressed.
‘A snowy. It seemed… I sort of spoke to it and it seemed to understand, and then it offered to take the package,’ Delilah stammered, fully aware of how excessively foolish the whole thing sounded.
‘A snowy owl?’ Remus repeated.
He, Dumbledore and Snape exchanged looks. Dumbledore jerked to his feet and walked around his chair, pulling agitatedly on his beard.
‘What?’ Delilah said frantically. ‘What is it?’
‘That owl is named Hedwig,’ Remus explained sombrely. ‘She is Harry Potter’s owl.’
Delilah’s hand flew to her mouth.
‘She is, for obvious reasons, very well-known among the Death Eaters. I would assume Avery spotted her and opportunistically followed her, in the hopes of intercepting some kind of valuable intelligence which he could take to Voldemort.’
Delilah doubled over and sank her head into her hands.
‘I never really thought the owl would manage to find her,’ she said into her lap. ‘I don’t know why I did it, I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid…’
‘Hedwig is an unusually skilled owl,’ Remus said consolingly. ‘Most owls would have failed to make that delivery. In any case, it’s nothing more than appallingly bad luck that Avery happened to spot her.’
‘If that fucking owl managed to track her down, how come you lot couldn’t?’ Delilah demanded angrily, raising her head. She was burning with shame at her childish actions, at the incredulous looks she had seen darting between the assembled men, and lashing out at them seemed to restore a modicum of her shattered pride. ‘I thought the members of the Order of the Phoenix were supposed to be the most talented people around? I thought you were doing everything you could to find her?’
‘It’s part of the unique magic of the owls,’ Dumbledore said, now standing by the fireplace, speaking into the flames, ‘much like how dogs can sniff out their owners. We can harness it, but we can no more mimic it than we can sprout wings and take flight ourselves. Even the world’s leading experts on owl magic cannot fully explain their powers.’
‘But why couldn’t you just send her an owl and then follow it?’
‘That is impossible. Owl magic is too sophisticated: they cannot be followed for the bulk of their journey, even a short internal one, say within the passages of this castle. They can only be detected at either end of their flight. Avery must have been there virtually at the point of delivery in order to have followed Hedwig into the house.’
‘His family home is close to Falmouth,’ Snape put in. ‘A fact I’d expect a person in hiding to have known,’ he added pointedly, glaring at the top of Julius’ head.
‘But surely you could have sent her an owl to open lines of communication, then established some kind of safe way of finding her?’
Dumbledore shook his head impatiently.
‘As Remus says, the likelihood of an owl finding her at all was always vanishingly slim, and even if it could be done, we would never take such a risk.’
That hit Delilah like a punch in the stomach. There was a damning accusation built into that remark: she had incurred this risk, this terrible risk, and by nothing more than sheer idiocy. She wondered whether Connie had seen the stupid box of novelty sweets, the bottle of perfume, and wondered why Delilah thought that delivering them was more important than her and Matilda’s lives.
‘But we could try it now?’ she implored weakly. ‘Now she’s somewhere else, we could use another owl, or your phoenix, and find her…?’
‘Now that this has happened, you really think she’ll allow it to happen again?’ Snape said drily. ‘You don’t think she will redouble her protective measures so that not even the most talented messenger could find her?’
‘So we’ve just… We’ve lost her again?’
‘It looks that way,’ Remus said grimly.
‘Do you have any idea of where she will go?’ Dumbledore asked Julius.
‘None,’ he said. ‘Nor where I will go,’ he added miserably.
‘The Order will protect you, Julius,’ Dumbledore said.
Julius looked doubtful.
‘The Death Eaters, though…’
‘Are far less interested in you than you seem to imagine,’ Snape said cuttingly.
‘They tried to recruit me, Snape,’ Julius huffed, turning in his chair to face him.
‘For a specific purpose,’ Snape said. ‘Certainly not for your skill or intellect.’
A tense silence settled upon the group. Dumbledore carefully returned the instrument from his desk to its table, and used his forefinger to still the fretful shivers of the silver rings.
‘I suppose I should take Julius to Headquarters,’ Remus said at last.
‘Can I have my wand back, then?’ Julius said grumpily.
Snape gave the man a look of intense distaste as he plucked the wand from his pocket and handed it over.
Remus stood.
‘Goodbye, Delilah,’ he said, leaning over her and clasping her shoulder bracingly.
Delilah nodded mutely, and Remus took a pinch of Floo Powder from a bronze-cast pot on the mantelpiece, shaped like half of a jagged-edged eggshell, and threw into the flames. He tugged Julius by the robes, and they both stepped into the grate and vanished.
‘I will show Miss Blackthorn out,’ Severus said, ‘and then I should go as well.’
He made for the door. Dumbledore nodded briefly, whilst lifting a shallow marble basin from a shelf and walking it carefully over to his desk.
‘Thank you, Severus.’
Delilah hovered uncertainly, wanting to apologise, wanting words of reassurance from the headmaster, absolution from him – which would also, somehow, have absolved her on Connie’s behalf – but he was leaning on his palms and peering into the depths of the shallow basin, and didn’t so much as look at her. She slumped reluctantly out after Snape on to the moving staircase.
She felt wretched with disappointment, and her stomach churned with shame.
At the next meeting of the Order of the Phoenix Dumbledore would tell them all what had happened. ‘The good news is that Constance Blackthorn and her child have been seen alive,’ he would say, ‘but the bad news is that they have slipped through our fingers once again, and their whereabouts and the facts of their physical safety are again unknown…’
‘How did that happen?’ the square-jawed witch would demand incredulously.
‘Delilah Blackthorn sent an owl, which was intercepted and cost them their hiding place.’
‘That stupid fecking child again!’ the wooden-legged wizard would bellow. ‘Was she trying to get them killed?’
‘She said she didn’t think the owl would ever find them.’
‘So why send it in the first place?’ the witch would splutter. ‘Is she completely fucking stupid? Doesn’t she think we’d have thought to send an owl ourselves the second she went missing if it were a good idea? She’s a liability Albus, you should never have taken her in! Don’t you agree, Snape?’
Snape… What would he say? Would he defend her? Join in with the lynching? Did she even register on his radar enough for him to care either way? She could just see him sitting there, his right foot resting on his left knee, sighing ostentatiously and examining his fingernails to advertise his boredom with this tedious topic, the tedious Delilah Blackthorn…
She stared at the side of his head circulating smoothly on the step below her, at his hair clumped over his ear, and felt a wild, restless desire to sink her hands into that hair; pull at his collar; grab at his chin and yank his face around to look at her; fling her arms around his neck and pick her feet up from the floor so he’d have to catch her with his strong forearms, support her weight, spread his hands over her…
They stepped out of the office and walked together towards the Entrance Hall. With him striding beside her, his solid, human bulk right there, Delilah felt like she was wearing her nerves outside her skin. She felt she was on the verge of catapulting herself into him and pinning him against the wall, just to see what he would do.
‘I will leave you here,’ he said at the top of the stairs. He waited for a second or two for her response but she just stared at him, lips parted, so he turned and glided down the steps.
Delilah stood watching him go, strangled by a knot of incoherent, jumbled emotions which wrestled in her throat, so that even if she had the courage, she couldn’t have called after him.
She wanted to scream.
